• this world is not my home

For me, this may be the most difficult part of cross-cultural life. Every time you move, you leave behind people and places you have grown to love.

I had visitors with me yesterday from my country of origin. We toured the city and I showed them lots of the things I love most. Knowing that I am leaving made the tour bittersweet. I was excited to share wonderful and enjoyable places and insights with my friends, but all the time I found myself wistfully thinking about each place in the past tense.

It is easy at these moments to allow one of two extreme reactions to occur, neither of which is particularly healthy. On the one hand, you can become numb, calloused over the years of goodbyes. Ignoring the grief only helps for a while. Eventually it will come out somehow, and you will likely find it more difficult later. The other extreme is allowing your feelings to dictate your decisions, instead of what you know is good or right. When we do this, we make decisions based on what will make us feel best at the moment, but not what is best for our whole life.

Do you have any experiences or suggestions on how to best deal with the feelings of separation that are sure to come when making a big, cross-cultural transition?