• this world is not my home

Today is Father's Day in the United States. I am sitting in my home in North Africa. The only reason I knew was because of a timed reminder in my computer's calendar (with alarm). My wife and kids forgot. It's okay with me that they forgot. I forget these sorts of holidays all the time. There are no reminders in this culture.

I have no reminders in this culture about Valentine's Day, Veteran's or Memorial Days, or anything else that is common back there. People wonder how I could forget to call my mother on Mother's Day (and yes, I am horribly guilty of this and more). Well, in the States you have reminders in every single store, shop window, television advertisement, newspaper, and casual conversation on the street. To be honest, if it didn't happen the same day every year, I could very easily forget things like Christmas while living where I am, but I could never miss Ramadan, Aid al Kebir, or Ouad Adeheb. Why? Because it is constant in the cultural cues, conversation, and stream of daily life.

The thing is, that days like today are often very important to the people we love who are left behind, who are not experiencing with us the culture in which we live. These friends and family do not generally understand what it takes to remember and honor these moments/days/holidays from so far away, but it is important to try. It works both ways, too. Ask any first generation immigrant to America or Europe whether they enjoyed Chinese New Year or what they did to celebrate Holi or some other holiday that is a big deal in their native culture.

This is a difficult thing to endure at times, when the festival is important to you. It can also be tough when it is not, but it is important to those you are far from. It is hard to know what to do and how to handle it.

This is true, but it means so much more to the people at home when you do remember the holidays and email/call them.

For example, yesterday when I called my dad for Father's Day, he was shocked to hear my voice because he didn't think I would remember it.  He could have though this because I forgot his birthday.  The same goes for my mom as well.  I called her on Mother's Day and she did not expect me to remember it.  I have to say that I have a reputation for forgetting things, so maybe this is working in my favor?  They're even more excited to get a call from me because they expect me to forget.  Now it makes sense...