• this world is not my home

Have you ever felt like not answering the phone or not talking to someone you have considered a friend for some time, solely because you are in transition and you just don't have the energy? I'm not talking about moments of anger, or relationship problems. These are people you actually like, but you just don't have the emotional strength to say, "Goodbye," to again.

I have a friend who has called me on my cell phone twice this week. I noticed his number on the caller ID and ignored the call both times. I keep thinking I should call him back, but I just can't muster up the energy for the conversation, for another goodbye.

Anyone else experience anything like this?

Wow, I thought it was just me. I have felt that way before. But then, I'm an introvert and I often find certain types of conversations to be physically and emotionally draining, especially if I can't think of what I want to say.

I wrote the original post nine days ago. Finally, today I had the energy to call my friend back. I went and visited him and said, "Goodbye." That was hard, but it was good for us both.

I'm convinced some of the harder and weirdest parts of transition are the things that never get talked about...like this.

Makes sense. I've had many conversations along the lines of "I miss such-and-such and so-and-so." But I've never really talked to anyone about putting off goodbyes. Right before I left [a certain country], where I had been for about a year, I really closed myself off for a while. I didn't want to interact with the friends I knew I'd be leaving. I did eventually say goodbye, but I didn't spend a lot of time with anyone.

You know, it's quite encouraging to hear you say that you experience this as well. It is a little known fact that I am a bit introverted...I hide it well, usually behind a computer screen, a book, or a specific task.

I am doing precisely what you describe: hiding out a bit while finalizing the details of a move, and only seeing people (or answering my cell phone) when I feel emotionally up to it.